So today I took my poor Kiwis life, and I will never forgive myself for it. Most people wouldn't understand, but I know people on here will understand how much it hurts to loose a family member. I cant stop crying it took everything I had to bury him in the backyard under the apple tree with his favorite bells, I couldn't let go of him. I held onto him for 5 hours hoping and praying he would spring back to life. It's so quiet and lonely in my house, I can't believe what I had done, I killed my friend as well as Nuggets, my Indian ringneck. My boyfriend says to get another one, but there won't be any like Kiwi, he was such a beautiful boy, and I took his life at only 2 years old all because he wanted to follow me to the bathroom and I shut the door as soon as was entering. I held him in my hands as he took his last breath, I screamed at the top of lungs. I cant believe what I had done, I couldn't, I wish this wasn't real. He was such the light of my day and now he's gone, I miss his voice, his goofiness, and most of all his friendship. I was supposed to protect him and I failed I will never forgive myself. I'm sorry this is so long I just don't know what to do, I'm so lost I am crying as I'm righting this. How does anyone coup with this pain?
I accidentally killed my pet budgie Kiwi - I miss him so much
- Thread starter Amber8904
- Start date
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- budgie budgie dies
- Aug 30, 2021
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Ziggy, Kai, and Seiji (blue, yellowface, and dilute budgies)
Jasper (yellow-naped amazon)
Lilla (senegal parrot)
Snowberry (yellow-crowned amazon)
Cricket (pacific parrotlet)
I can't imagine the pain you feel. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate yourself for it. It wasn't your fault at all. Kiwi and Nugget sounded like an amazing pair of little birds and may fond memories of them warm your heart always. Thanks for sharing, this is incredibly brave of you.
You probably won't ever be able to "get over it". But in time, it will get better. Trust me ❤️
You probably won't ever be able to "get over it". But in time, it will get better. Trust me ❤️
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We do understand. It does hurt so much, they are family in every way..
Give yourself time to grieve. Don't rush out and get a new one just yet, as you will feel so conflicted. And the new one would feel all your stress. No one will be the same they are each so unique. But after you are really ready, a new one will be its own special joy.
Give yourself time to grieve. Don't rush out and get a new one just yet, as you will feel so conflicted. And the new one would feel all your stress. No one will be the same they are each so unique. But after you are really ready, a new one will be its own special joy.
Welcome to the forums, Amber, but oh my, I'm so sorry for your loss, and I can only imagine how awful you're feeling right now. There are so many of us who have lost precious babies like Kiwi in tragic accidents (me included!) so we most definitely know how much it hurts. Accidents like this can happen no matter how many precautions we take but I know that your little one would not want you to blame yourself - Kiwi knew how much he was loved and that you never intended for this to happen. Sending many warm feathered hugs your way, Amber, my heart truly goes out to you.
Godspeed to the Rainbow Bridge, precious little Kiwi, until we all meet again. 🙏
Godspeed to the Rainbow Bridge, precious little Kiwi, until we all meet again. 🙏
I am so sorry for your loss of Kiwi. Please don't blame yourself, accidents happen sometimes no matter what we do. My heart goes out to you.
Labbie
Member
- Jan 23, 2013
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- Rainbow lorikeets Rosie and Mollie. Peach faced lovebirds Pixie and Missy. Peach faced lovebirds Storm and Blossom. Blue masked lovebirds Alfie and Millie.
I'm so sorry, It hurts to lose a close family member and friend.
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- Thread starter
- #7
Thank you for the support. Yes I agree with you, I am to hurt to get a new one at the moment I am going to wait awhile. I appreciate the advice and kind words.
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- #8
Thank you for your kind words and support, it means a lot.
- Thread Starter
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- #9
Thank you for the kind words and support it means a lot to me. He was such a good boy.
Emeral
Well-known member
- Sep 16, 2021
- 209
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- Hanhs Macaw
If it is any help, you are not alone. Accidents happens. Death happens. It is no one's fault. Death is a part of cycle of life. Often, we forget how fragile life is.
I would like to share this story with you. I met a lady who was crying in a pet store. She told me how her bird died under her blanket. She explained that sometimes her bird cuddle with her to sleep. And she warned me of the incident.
We understand your pain completely. I too had lost my buddy bird. This remind us that we all have the same boundary in life. Death is the boundary. It happens to every being, big or small, tamed or wild, human or any species alike. So I hope you don't blame yourself. Thank you for sharing your story.
I would like to share this story with you. I met a lady who was crying in a pet store. She told me how her bird died under her blanket. She explained that sometimes her bird cuddle with her to sleep. And she warned me of the incident.
We understand your pain completely. I too had lost my buddy bird. This remind us that we all have the same boundary in life. Death is the boundary. It happens to every being, big or small, tamed or wild, human or any species alike. So I hope you don't blame yourself. Thank you for sharing your story.
Flboy
Well-known member
- Dec 28, 2014
- 12,599
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- JoJo, 'Special' GCC, Bongo, Cinnamon GCC(wife's)
I am so very sorry for your pain! Unfortunately, that is such a fast accident!
- Aug 21, 2010
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Goffins: Gabby, Abby, Squeaky, Peanut, Popcorn / Citron: Alice / Eclectus: Angel /Timneh Grey: ET / Blue Fronted Amazon: Gonzo /
RIP Gandalf and Big Bird, you are missed.
Amber, my heartfelt condolences for the passing of Kiwi. Mourning the accidental loss of a beloved companion is searingly painful and haunting. May his beautiful memories comfort you while grieving, there is no timeline, only tears and support from family and friends. Please be kind to yourself, we are here for you with understanding and empathy.
I know this is SO HARD.
Accidents happen. This was NOT on purpose. I know it will take time, but you need to forgive yourself. Kiwi loves you still. He does NOT blame you for accidents and will meet you at the Rainbow Bridge some day.
Blessings, Jane.
parrottoys
Member
I am very sorry that you lost your baby. Of course you know when a bird is allowed on the floor accidents may happen. The VERY BEST WAY to heal is to adopt another bird from your nearest rescue. THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU FORGET KIWI. It means that you have a loving heart and are able to give another bird a real home with love and warmth and good food.... The bird won't be the same, but he/she will be very special in all ways that birds are amazing and remarkable. He/she will be your new baby.
How better to honor you Kiwi than to offer a home to a bird who is waiting for you to come get him and give him a really family life?
I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Kiwi. I also had a Kiwi that died in October, when I took him to have his nails clipped. It’s something that still makes my cry. It’s definitely painful and so very difficult. Try not to feel guilty, they are so fragile . Be kind to yourself. You loved him, and unfortunately these things happen. This forum really helped me through, it was helpful to have the support of everyone here. Rest In Peace sweet Kiwi. Sending you healing hugs at this sad time.
- Thread Starter
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- #16
He's has never been on the floor he knew how to fly, I never clip my babies wings they are meant to fly. He flew right in between the door and the wall as it was closing, unfortunately it closed on him, I had no idea he was following me. He's never done that when his buddy Nugget was hanging out with him on the perch, in the living room. I should have never shut the door in the first place, but I know now I will never do it again. I'm sorry if I didn't make sense I was crying my eyes out when I was writing that.
I do really appreciate all the support it has really helped me a lot.
I think thats a very good idea thank you for the advice, I will keep that in mind when I'm ready to get a new one.
Amber,
I usually never say I know how you're feeling in situations like this but I honestly do and my heart goes out to you. I recently lost my blue and gold Joey who was my best friend for 21 years. And except for a few days in the hospital I was with him everyday for That 21 years. I still cry over his passing quite frequently but the videos of him and myself still make me laugh.
I feel for you and I wish I knew how to tell you it will be alright but I can't. We hurt so much I think because we loved them so much.
Sending you positive thoughts and healing prayers and also a big hug.
wonderfulworld
New member
- Apr 24, 2021
- 12
- 15
I had an Indian Rick parrot with name 'Jessy' who passed away on April 27 this year. He was with us for 14 years and lived in many homes and states. His first name was 'Kiwi' when we got him from Petco. I miss him a lot even after these many months. But I relieved when I think that there is a closure to every life and happens. I'm going to give some time before I get another one. I pray that the time and his memories heal your sorrows. It's absolutely normal to grieve. I had to go through the same.
Tootsie's Daddy
New member
I'm so very sorry for your loss Amber. We lost 2 budgies to accidents, and at 50 years old it was the worst pain I ever felt in my life. It's been over a year for one and almost two for the other. Although we miss our babies dearly time has helped to lesson the pain. We did get another little friend when we were ready and we love him with all our hearts and we tell him about his big brothers. It helps, and you will be there someday. I'm glad you have the support of so many that have been through what you are going through now. Best wishes Amber.
Johnathamilton
New member
- Dec 23, 2021
- 4
- 32
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- Violet
Oh Amber,
I know your pain all too well. Last Saturday Dec. 15, I accidentally stepped on our family Budgie Violet ("Vi") resulting in a traumatic injury and death a few moments later in my daughter's hands. He (yes, we misidentified his sex earlier on) was a birthday gift to my middle daughter 5 years ago when she was 13. She had hand trained him and he was very tame. He started out as one of a pair of budgies, but the other budgie died a few months after we received it. As a result he was a solo budgie and we were his flock. As a result he became integrated with our family and was in reality a vital member. We joked that he probably thought of himself as human! He was a precocious little guy, who would nibble on my neck (I work at home). I discovered early on that he loved spinach, a trait that allowed us to retrieve him when he accidentally flew away last year. He would sit on our shoulders when we walked around the house (which is how he escaped when my wife walked out onto the deck behind our house without realizing he was there!). He knew how to communicate his wants and would hear my daughter returning to the house even before I realized she was near the house. Every morning I would take the cover off his cage and feed him a few leaves of spinach. He would sing along with me when I played certain piano pieces such as Bach's Prelude in C major. He would joyfully bathe as water poured from the kitchen sink tap into my wife's cupped hands.
As a single budgie, and very social, he was fascinated by his reflection in shiny surfaces. Sadly this trait led to his demise. We have shiny bases on the stools in our kitchen and he would love to talk with the budgies in the reflection. Last Saturday morning (Dec. 15), he was on the floor in the kitchen while my daughter (now 18 and in 1st year nursing) was studying for her last exam. She said "be careful, Vi is on the floor". I turned to go up the stairs but ventured too close to the table base and he was spooked and skittered away from the base and under my shoe as I stepped down. He squawked at me, then flew to the kitchen sink, but unable to hold himself up flew to his cage where he was unable to stand and held himself there with his beak. We were terrified and my daughter knew from her medical knowledge that his state was dire. There were sobs and tears from all of us as he passed away in her hands moments later.
That afternoon, we buried our little buddy in the back yard beside our mint patch.
We have cleaned and removed his cage to the basement while we grieve. The house is silent without him and we are ever mindful of his absence.
I have been unable to concentrate on my work and go to sleep each night racked by sadness and guilt. My family are kind and don't blame me for his death as it truly was an accident and we can all point to ways that it could have been avoided. But the fact remains that he is dead and this beautiful intelligent little creature is gone forever. Death is a horrible thing - there is no Hollywood ending. So I soldier on, working through the grief of losing my little buddy. Wanting to get a new one, but knowing that really I just want a return of the little guy and that it's too soon to get a new pet.
So, please don't beat yourself up about your accident. Know that we live with these little fragile creatures and those of us who are blessed to know and live with them, have learned that we are only co-tenants on this planet earth with other animals. That we have the ability to recognize their value and to bond with them is precious. But it comes at a price because when they die, we also are wounded by that loss - more so when some action on our part, however innocent, results in their premature death. But we do go on, and this loss can motivate us to rise to greater things as we use the grief and consciousness of their value to seek to help other animals who need our help and to share our awareness of the preciousness of the life of our co-inhabitants in a world that seeks to put a dollar value on it.
I am barely holding it together as I write this so forgive me the disjointed response. I just want you to know that what you are not alone. What you are feeling is completely normal and in fact a good sign, that you are a caring and empathetic human being. We will all get through this, and while the sadness of the loss of our pets will never entirely leave us, it will diminish with time and we will continue to do our best to live together with our fellow creatures.
All the best,
John
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